When Abigail and I first started lobbying for a dog, I kept telling Jeff "dogs don't cost that much. I mean, buy a bag of Kibbles 'n Bits, get their shots once a year and that's pretty much it." I'll admit, I wasn't even sure I believed that but I was desperate. We never thought we would have to pay for things like taking him to the vet after he had eaten a razor blade, dog obedience classes, or.....grooming. When we bought Jake, we saw his mom (the beagle) and Jake kind of looked like her, but softer. So I never even thought about haircuts.
Let me preface this by saying I know grooming has to be a really hard job. The clients are not too happy about it, they may bite, you have to clip hair in some not too pleasant places, etc.
The first time I got him groomed, we went to Petsmart. I didn't know where else to go and I had a coupon. What better reason to go there? They did a decent job on him and they trimmed his nails nicely. I took him there a few more times with great success. The last time I took him there, his regular girl wasn't there and the person that did it, cut way too close on his head and caused a "burn". (I know that's what groomers call it because I watched a whole season of "Groomer Has It" on Animal Planet. Yes. I am that addicted to reality TV.) So, I called around and decided to try a real Doggie Beauty Parlor. They did a great job a couple of times and they seemed very professional. But one time I took Jake and they took him around back, loaded him in a van and drove him down the street to another grooming place. When I asked about that, they said they didn't have a groomer at the moment so they were "outsourcing" their grooming business. What? I could have driven him there myself and saved him a van trip. The only good thing is that the place they sent him has a webcam and you can watch your dog being groomed. So, of course, I spent the better part of my afternoon checking the computer to see if my baby was on camera. I finally got him on there. Poor guy. He looked so pitiful. He was a brave little soldier though. I was proud of him.
Anyway, it's summer now. Summer in Texas. I'm hot in my swimsuit in a pool so I know Jake is hot in his fur coat that is getting increasingly longer every day. I made an appointment for him at the Doggie Beauty Parlor last week and checked to make sure they did indeed have their own groomer. I was going somewhere that morning so Jeff took him and dropped him off. I told Jeff to tell them we wanted a short summer cut and trim his beard. I hate it when his beard gets in his food. When I would say trim his beard, I made a motion with my hands like I'm chopping off imaginary hair under my chin. Don't know why, I just always made that motion. Jeff said he told them exactly what I told him but apparently he forgot to make the hand motion because they not only shaved his beard, they shaved his whole head! I also said to tell them to do a cut all over and not that goofy schnauzer cut they always want to give him. That's where they want to leave the hair on his legs long. But since there's no defining point on his body where it should start, they just made this insane lightning bolt design on his side and then half of his back legs have long hair and half has short hair. Really? That's what you come up with?! Of course, I didn't really say anything when I got him, he's always so glad to see me and get the heck out of there that we just head right for the nearest lamp pole (apparently he's had lots of water but no potty break) and then into the car. When I got him home and got a good look I was stunned. A lightning bolt?! He's not Harry Potter! I thought I was on "Candid Camera" (or "Punk'd" for those of you under 30) I did have to call them the next morning because he had some terrible burns on his ears. Their vet took a look at him and gave me some ointment for it. I don't think we'll being going back there. In the meantime, I went to the library and got a copy of "Dog Grooming for Dummies". I don't know if I'll be able to do any better but at least he won't have a lightning bolt.
So this is Jake before:
This is the usual summer haircut I want for him:
And this is what he came home with. I don't have pictures of his lightning bolt...
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