I've read that one of the worst things you can do as a dog owner is to assign human characteristics to you pet. We all do it. We take turns talking like the dog, using the voice we assume the dog would speak in, saying things we think he would say if he could talk.

Our first dog, Snoopy, was brilliant. Really. He was just a very smart dog that seemed very human. Maybe it was because we got him when I was 5 and I basically grew up with him. When I was crying for whatever reason, Snoopy would come over, sit next to me and endure me throwing my arms around his neck and boo-hooing. He wouldn't budge, just sit there and wait for me to cry it out. Then he would go about his own business. But it was as if he realized that comforting me was part of his job in our family. I always thought when Snoopy was born, a dog angel told him he would earn his dog wings after he took care of our family for a few years. I believed if Snoopy could talk, he would have let us all know that he was so much smarter than the rest of us humans. But he took great care of us for 18 years. He was always there when I needed him.

After our angel dog, we had Rosco. What a vindictive little dog. He was a daschund that really didn't like me at all. He did most things out of pure spite. He always reminded me of that cartoon dog Muttley, the dog of Dick Dastardly. Remember them? Rosco could have easily belonged to him too. Muttley always did mean things and then had a wheezy little laugh. Yup, that was Rosco.

My dad now has a cute doxie named Freddie. He's a cute little thing but his personality is something else. If you've ever seen the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Freddie would be the Frenchman that insults everyone from the top of the castle. Freddie can look at me and honestly, I hear him say in a heavy French accent, "I blow my nose in your general direction." I know doxies are supposed to be German but for some reason, Freddie is French in my mind.

Then we have our little Jake. To me, he is Mr. Haney from Green Acres. All he needs is a straw hat. I hear him saying things like "Well, folks, today I have a fine deal on a used rawhide. Why don't we sit down here and talk about it for a spell?" He never meets a stranger and if he could, I have a feeling he would want to invite everyone over for dinner or coffee. He might not be the brightest dog out there or the most empathetic but he's very loveable. And not once have I heard him insult me in French.